There is a home
I’ve found in you
Don’t wanna be alone
If you’re all I wanted all along
I can’t go back
To what I’ve known before
There’s wisdom learned from the past
And electricity felt at what’s in front of me
I’ll hold your hand if you let me
We’ll take each other along
Through our good times and bad
Pulling you out of your darkness
And you, mine
What is love
If you are not what I need
Let me be that love for you.
It’s 10pm and Myrtle is sitting on Abe’s laptop.
Myrtle is staring at me now, she wants attention and usually shows it by climbing on top of us and nuzzling the laptops. Abe’s been asleep since 7pm. He’s such a teacher. It’s FRIDAY. V understandable though.
Developed and Scanned October 31, 2017.
Photos were taken May-June 2017.
Enjoy.
do you ask me to smile because a sad woman makes you uncomfortable? because you want to be that “fella” who made the sad woman feel better? because you didn’t. you just emphasized the patriarchy with that simple question that I felt too afraid to defy. so fuck off and please, gentlemen, stop being that guy who goes up to a woman on the street you don’t know and tell her to “smile, sweetie, why don’t you just smile”. It’s really unnerving.
those are their ashes that you’re kickin
on the playground
at the pool
on that golf course you think you rule
those smiles tell a different story
grim faced and meek
we don’t ask for much
but you rinse and repeat to
get our stench off your feet
laugh and play it off
but the suffering will go on
it will continue to go on
how long will it go on
Dear Joseph,
I remember the earliest time we interacted with each other. It was time to take the first math test, and you were so reluctant to take it, complaining the WHOLE way to the computer lab saying, “Miss, I hate math, I know I’m not going to do good, this isn’t fair.” You kept complaining but I wasn’t going to let you go back to your advisory class. You took the test and you felt horrible about it. But I’m sure you got over it.
After that interaction, the next ten months has led me to get to know a young teenager with unabashed commentary and wit. You are not afraid to speak your mind and let your thoughts be known. You look out for your friends and stick close to those that allow you to be yourself. That kind of intuition is surprising to me to see in a 15-year old. And it shows me that you’ll be just fine the rest of your high school years.
You are a great kid. I know it. But I also wish at times I had done better as your City Year to help you understand the math concepts in class. The struggles that you had in class doesn’t define your future. The attitude you have about your failures, however, will. A motto of mine that I have had since I was in high school, at your age, was “Keep an open mind, and you’ll be all right.” Do not let your lack of understanding any subject keep you from trying. Yeah, math might be something you hate and despise but don’t let something you hate keep you from getting something that you want. That goes hand in hand with a lot of things, but you already know this. In this case, don’t let your bad grades discourage you from applying to the college of your dreams. In my case, something I hate is talking in front of people, but I’m not going to let that get in the way of me speaking about something I’m passionate about, you know?
Anyway, thank you for giving me and the rest of the CY team the privilege to be a part of your life for a measly ten months. To this day, I don’t know what made you want to spend your time after school with us for an hour and half but I’m glad you and your squad chose to do so. I’m glad to have been there to share a few stories and lessons from my high school days, but I have a feeling that soon you’re going to be teaching me a lesson or two on life. I’m still trying to figure it out, too. Life, that is.
Joseph, you’re bound to do amazing and unforgettable things in your life. I have such a strong feeling about that. Don’t ever settle for anything less than what your heart desires. Go out and do your best to retrieve it, and if it doesn’t work out, you will end up with something that maybe you didn’t realize your heart desired at first but has become the best thing that ever happened to you. I feel like you’re at the stage where all you’re thinking about after reading that is about a guy but, again, this goes hand in hand with many, many things, haha. Good luck with everything and be smart about the decisions you make from here on out, okay? Pinky promise! Don’t forget to keep in touch.
Sincerely,
Jensine Junus
You were not only my student, but you became my friend in the process. And for that I will never ever forget you. Rest easy, Joseph ❤
“It is often said that my heart is too open for my own good.”
-Rousseau, Henri
It’s Cesar Chavez day so school was out for the day as was I. The plan to start off this three-day weekend was to check out a super bloom area but instead of braving 2.5+ hours of traffic we opted for .75 hours of traffic and headed to the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena.
I’ve visited this museum before, once with Eliza but during that visit, with only 25 minutes to spare, we focused on the Van Gogh and Picasso pieces that were on display. This time with Abe, though, I got to explore the entirety of the museum and even made time to take a walk around the sculpture garden.
He’s great to take pictures of. Sigh.
I’m apparently a difficult model to work with. But I’m always happy with the outcome.
Whoa. New facebook default?
Ah, yes. I’m happy. Serene. At peace.
Art major deep in thought.
Salvage beauty no matter the cost.
I don’t know if the reason I have trouble sleeping now is because life is finally worth being awake for,
or if I just go to bed too darn early.
run the water like how we do
until it warms up like my heart did to you
face each other with your hands on my lips
luck was in our favor
the fire’s burning bright
down at the beach
resonates my future with you
through and through
so don’t worry i’ll be with you
if it takes ten…thousand years
to prove
so don’t worry, it’s true
why would i lie to you?
–hahaha. i love you.
i’m the worst at rhymes.
jezzydez 